How do I put it?

Sometimes it feels like you’ve let someone down.

Can’t even say feel.

You know you’ve let someone down, but you don’t want to admit it.

Even if its not entirely your fault, it still somehow falls back to you.

It happens to the best of us. Saying things at the wrong time, trying too hard to be nice.

It’s almost as if my own personality betrays me.

I guess sometimes it’s better to save one than to save them all.

Resolute.

I’d like to take a step away from resolutions.

Rather, I’d just like to state my hopes and dreams.

Maybe it’s because more likely than not, I won’t be able to achieve what I expect.

Probably so.

I don’t even have much that I want.

1. Get into university?

2. Pass and get a stable job??

???

3. Profit???????

I don’t know.

I’m just like any other young adult in this world.

In a week I’ll be back home.

Where my friends are.

Although they’re all moving on with life.

I’m just on spectator mode.

As the winter wind blows

I am not there to bear witness to it.

Out there is a world that I do not know.

If life were like the tales told in books

Of distant lands and faraway places

Of wizards and warriors, of princes and kings

An anime world full of cute girls and magic

But what lies in my heart

Would only wish for all these second.

I cannot reach

What is first.

Missing.

If I am nowhere in life, where am I to be found?

If there is nothing written on the page, where do I start?

If there is nothing to my name, what am I worth?

If i have nothing to show, what’s there to see?

If I am not close, how will I get near?

For fear of being not worthy, I cannot prove my worth.

For fear of being rejected, I am already a reject.

For fear of getting nowhere, I will not get anywhere.

For fear of being far, I am already the farthest.

For fear of uncertainty, there lies no chance.

That which is love just passes by.

A Red Dawn Rises.

Arrived in New Zealand on Tuesday morning, 5 AM.

Waited 6 hours for the connection to Christchurch.

IMG_4758

Much better than i expected.

Very beautiful place. Mountains like the Coastals, lots of sun, lots of parks.

Very peaceful and enjoyable.

Short blog cuz tired

Didnt do much anyway.

Day 1 out.

About Anirev, fireworks, and other random somethings.

So I’m not allowed to volunteer at Anime Revolution.

Something something it’s like asking to work at a casino or smoke cigarettes.

Okay.

I’m not nearly as disappointed about it as having to tell the staff that I’ll have to jump ship.

But that’s done and done.

And actually, to say I’m not that disappointed is more of an understatement.

Ever since my friends volunteered there, I’ve always wanted to experience an actual anime con.

I’ve never been to pax or any other huge con, and besides, I was really looking forward to it.

They did already ask me if I could work tech, which would have been my preferred role anyway.

Bleh.

It might have been a highlight of my summer, but I’ll just push that aside.

There’s other highlights of my summer.

Fireworks was quite nice today. Didn’t think I’d be able to go, but gratefully enough, made it at 4.

The trip was pleasant, and we managed to secure a spot with, indeed, quite a good view, kudos to rachoo.

On the way back, I had a slight incident.

But I’m really thankful I have someone who’s got my back.

Thanks man.

You’re the best.

Hey.

They say fireworks are romantic.

I guess they are.