Memories.

When you want to remember them, you forget them.

When you want to forget them, they never go away.

The bigger question is, do you keep them or do you let them free.

Will I regret not remembering? Or will I live forever in the past.

Why is it that the happiest moments in our life become the saddest ones?

I remember.

Waiting.

Why just waiting? Why not something more special?

Why do I want to remember all this?

I don’t. I do.

I don’t know.

All I know is that it hurts.

Couldn’t things have been different?

Couldn’t I have been who I wanted to be, instead of trying so hard?

Why did I have to try?

What if all this never happened? Would I have been a happier person? A more caring person? A better person?

I guess…. if I really had a choice, I’d still have chosen to go for it.

I hate the idea of not having done something I know I could have done, and the fact that I’d regret it for my life.

And there was nothing wrong with it.

Except for me.

It’s so easy to want to blame everything else but myself.

But it’s just because I know it’s everything I deserve.

I messed it up.

I made it wrong.

Will I ever get over it?

Have I changed?

Do I want to get over it?

Do I want to be forgotten?

Do I want to forget?

Or do I want to remember.

Can I please quote a person who I’ve always respected with all my heart? Someone who I look up to as a role model.

“That doesn’t mean to throw out precious memories. They’re like memories of another era.”

Damn.

Daaaaamn.

I need to show myself out of this world.

I’m not worthy.

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