Why does it happen?
Some things are better off staying the way they are.
Is it too much to ask for? In fact, it’s asking for nothing at all.
Nothing more than everything to be as they used to be.
I’m disappointed in myself.
Was I ever more than this? Where did I go?
If there was anything more than what I am now, what happened to it?
Why am I like this?
Maybe it really is psychological. Maybe I could find past events in my life that made me what I am.
Though…. I doubt it’d be really any different.
How does one fall so far.
I’ve lost so much.
Please don’t let me lose the last thing I’d want to lose.
It’s a request I’m asking myself.
Because myself is the only thing that I can change.
If only things didn’t change. How different everything would be.
If only I’d been what I should have been. My entire life.
I’d maybe have gone places. I wouldn’t have ended up making a mess everywhere I went.
Where did I even go wrong?
Looking back, I can only see mistakes.
Even what seemed so happy before brings me to tears.
I don’t deserve what I have.