Valentine’s Day.

Another year has passed, but I still feel as young and uncertain as I did when I left high school. Have I grown at all? imnottalkingaboutmyheightTT_TT

Mistakes I’ve made before, they won’t ever leave me. Is that good? Is that bad?

It certainly feels bad.

At least I know some I won’t make ever again.

But it doesn’t make me feel very proud of who I am as a person, if in fact i have any pride at all.

What I’ve done before is who I am today, is it not?

But who I am today might be different from who I was before.

Then am I me because of what I have done, or who I am now?

I can’t say I like who I am.

I don’t have much to show for myself anyway. What have I accomplished?

If theres someone I like, would they even take a moment to glance at me?

I wouldn’t even think I’d cross their mind even while they were talking to me.

As insignificant as a block of ice in the winter.

There’s a time for love, and a time to simply pass it by.

I don’t think it’s my time.

In a long time.

Hot Chocolate.

Tasted weird. I probably should have looked at the ingredients before defaulting to Was Sup. I……. didn’t get the pun.

I just say sup all the time so i was like oh ok this is something i should drink right cause its like my thing ha ha ha =3=

It wasn’t bad, the hot chocolate was pretty flavorful itself, quite creamy and had nice texture, but the aftertaste did taste like wasabi.

I thought it tasted alcoholic

lol

dont hurt me i dont drink much

But nevertheless it was a pretty fun time. Everything else ill keep to myself right haha

How do I put it?

Sometimes it feels like you’ve let someone down.

Can’t even say feel.

You know you’ve let someone down, but you don’t want to admit it.

Even if its not entirely your fault, it still somehow falls back to you.

It happens to the best of us. Saying things at the wrong time, trying too hard to be nice.

It’s almost as if my own personality betrays me.

I guess sometimes it’s better to save one than to save them all.

Resolute.

I’d like to take a step away from resolutions.

Rather, I’d just like to state my hopes and dreams.

Maybe it’s because more likely than not, I won’t be able to achieve what I expect.

Probably so.

I don’t even have much that I want.

1. Get into university?

2. Pass and get a stable job??

???

3. Profit???????

I don’t know.

I’m just like any other young adult in this world.

In a week I’ll be back home.

Where my friends are.

Although they’re all moving on with life.

I’m just on spectator mode.

As the winter wind blows

I am not there to bear witness to it.

Out there is a world that I do not know.

If life were like the tales told in books

Of distant lands and faraway places

Of wizards and warriors, of princes and kings

An anime world full of cute girls and magic

But what lies in my heart

Would only wish for all these second.

I cannot reach

What is first.

Missing.

If I am nowhere in life, where am I to be found?

If there is nothing written on the page, where do I start?

If there is nothing to my name, what am I worth?

If i have nothing to show, what’s there to see?

If I am not close, how will I get near?

For fear of being not worthy, I cannot prove my worth.

For fear of being rejected, I am already a reject.

For fear of getting nowhere, I will not get anywhere.

For fear of being far, I am already the farthest.

For fear of uncertainty, there lies no chance.

That which is love just passes by.