Summer……

Certainly feels like summer is on the way. Even though the cherry blossoms just came out a few weeks ago. And my classes will be officially done today….

And life continues.

I still don’t really know what I’ll do if I can’t make it into SFU.

There’s so much I dream of doing, but everything seems to be fading. At what point will I know when I’ve failed at life?

How much further can I fall before there’s no way out?

Time ticks on.

Days pass by.

Slowly I’m getting older.

Life is but a shadow in the passing of the sun.

When it reaches the end of the day, it will dissipate into the night.

How can I make the most of what little time I have?

Oh, I should work on the VN.

Or my RPG.

It’s like the story of my life. Always getting halfway through something. The few thing’s I’ve completed won’t make up for all the unfinished projects I’ve started.

Can’t I pull through?

Time to set some real goals, maybe.

1. Work on VN this week. At least get some story down.

2. Get out of bronze by next week. fking bronze.

3. Enjoy this hot chocolate I’m having then get my ass to Langara to take my exam.

LOL.

Okay, so as I figured I haven’t been keeping up with the tumblr blog either lulz.

Maybe if I leave it alone long enough it’ll start to update itself

hue

I’m so dull.

Much feelings though, lately.

Watched Oreimo and that really threw me off…

The ending was so bad >_>

Main character y u do dis

I guess in a way it was cute that he made that choice but

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY G_G

KURONEKO PLS

PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

main character i hate you.

what a waste of a night spent watching it

I should have stopped when things we good @_@

haaah.

Id give the series an 8/10

just for kuroneko.

<3

But it wasn’t toooooo bad?……

Certainly doesn’t top Anohana or Angel Beats imo

Maybe I should find a job.

SFU pls accept ;~;

please? TT_TT

Tumblr.

Never thought I’d post on tumblr.

Then again, there are a lot of things I never thought I’d do…

I really like the layout of tumblr and how easy it is to do things.

It seems nice.

Hopefully I can maintain it better than I maintain this blog LOL.

List of things to do:

[ ] post more.

[ ] post even more.

Free will.

The philosophical concept of “free will” is, arguably, the most significant discussion in epistemology and metaphysics. Many prominent philosophers, including Blatchford and Schlick, choose to define free will in such a way that agrees with their thesis. Hence, there are many definitions as to what free will and freedom mean. As it stands, freedom precedes free will, so in order to understand free will, we have to define freedom.  Since the theories of metaphysical and epistemic randomness cannot be clearly predicted or observed, one can only take Libertarianism, Simple Indeterminism, and Hard Determinism into account. Having said that, all three Incompatibilist theories agree that humans cannot have freedom or moral responsibility if Determinism is true; Schlick argues otherwise, believing that one’s decisions can still be free from compulsion even if one’s will is determined (Schlick). Since free will precedes moral responsibility, free will and freedom has to be defined first before one can properly debate the idea of moral responsibility. Freedom, then, in its core form, is freedom from obvious coercion. Legal freedom and social freedom are more or less not of major concern in most developed countries as well. The real debate begins with freedom of choice of action and choice of choice. Many Determinists believe free will only consists of freedom from coercion, or acting in determination with one’s will. However, a Libertarian would rather believe that free will is the choice to control one’s will and decision, the freedom of action and freedom of choice (Hume). The basic premise of Determinism is that the will is not free; one’s choices are based upon heredity and environment (Blatchford), and that one does not have the ability to choose otherwise than their greatest desire, whether consciously or subconsciously (Hospers). But Campbell argues that when there is a real sense in which one can act otherwise, and makes a choice, that person is solely responsible for that act due to his past actions or mental habits. In order to scrutinize both opinions properly, one must define the term “free will”. Free will should be the ability to make a decision based upon your own understanding of the problem and in accordance to your will.

Having said that, can one determine that they have free will?

I can’t even tell if what I do is of my own will.

How can I get over everything? I can’t, even though it is what I desire. Does that mean I don’t have free will?

Sigh.

Let it go.

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,

Not a footprint to be seen.

A kingdom of isolation,

and it looks like I’m the queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,

Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

._.

Yeah, I guess it’s pretty hard to let things go.

Do I feel more free?

I don’t know.

Maybe it’s cause I haven’t really let things go.

But as I should know, time fixes everything.

Do I want that to happen?

Yeah I guess.

It doesn’t seem like I’m fixing the problem myself.

But eh, it’s not like I can do anything else.

Oh and hey, 11111 views on this blog.

Interesting.

I’ve always been bothered because I know they’re not legit views.

It’s cause I used to post a lot of backgrounds and pictures on my blog. It’s just come up on search sites.

I guess i’d rather have chosen to know who would actually read my blogs rather than just look for pictures.

Does it really matter to me?

I don’t know.

I have so many questions I don’t really know the answer to.

I’m also the best at avoiding saying what my problems are.

Always hinting at something.

Always having something to hide.

Do I really have something to hide?

….

I don’t know.

Usuality.

Have I always felt this way?

Maybe it’s how I’ve always felt, since a long time ago.

Why does it feel strange now?

Probably cause I’m no longer used to what I was used to.

The days pass by without much meaning, but then they never really had meaning before anyway.

Just sitting at my computer, trying to pass the time by.

Feeling bored.

As always, probably.

I do enjoy what I learn at school though. But then again, I’ve always enjoyed one or two of my courses.

It’s just the feeling of separation from your classmates.

Nobody else really cares about you, and you really dont care about anyone else either.

Sad realities.

hm.

 

Memories.

When you want to remember them, you forget them.

When you want to forget them, they never go away.

The bigger question is, do you keep them or do you let them free.

Will I regret not remembering? Or will I live forever in the past.

Why is it that the happiest moments in our life become the saddest ones?

I remember.

Waiting.

Why just waiting? Why not something more special?

Why do I want to remember all this?

I don’t. I do.

I don’t know.

All I know is that it hurts.

Couldn’t things have been different?

Couldn’t I have been who I wanted to be, instead of trying so hard?

Why did I have to try?

What if all this never happened? Would I have been a happier person? A more caring person? A better person?

I guess…. if I really had a choice, I’d still have chosen to go for it.

I hate the idea of not having done something I know I could have done, and the fact that I’d regret it for my life.

And there was nothing wrong with it.

Except for me.

It’s so easy to want to blame everything else but myself.

But it’s just because I know it’s everything I deserve.

I messed it up.

I made it wrong.

Will I ever get over it?

Have I changed?

Do I want to get over it?

Do I want to be forgotten?

Do I want to forget?

Or do I want to remember.

Can I please quote a person who I’ve always respected with all my heart? Someone who I look up to as a role model.

“That doesn’t mean to throw out precious memories. They’re like memories of another era.”

Damn.

Daaaaamn.

I need to show myself out of this world.

I’m not worthy.